It was an emotional post as Amina Bala Shagari talked about her relationship before and after her divorce from her ex-husband Bilyaminu Bello-Haliru who was murdered by his wife, Maryam Sanda over the weekend
The relationship was surely a complicated one but when has love ever been simple? Amina revealed that she agreed to stay away as she wanted Bilyaminu to have peace, which surely is commendable because not much could have prevented her from insisting to remain married to or to remarry the late Bilyaminu. Her religion did not forbid it and money isn’t an issue either. Love is a sacrifice.
We also gathered from the post that Amina and Bilyaminu continued to keep in touch even after their divorce, which naturally makes us wonder whether she’s the unnamed third party in the relationship? Recall it’s widely reported that the events that preceded the murder of Bilyaminu were precipitated from jealousy on the part of the wife, jealousy from suspicious of infidelity. Text messages were being exchanged we were told between Bilyaminu and some unnamed lady. Moreover, if Maryam was dating a then married Bilyaminu (before their marriage), chances are that she’s bound to be suspicious of his relationships with another woman especially if that other woman was his ex-wife. Once a cheater, always a cheater is a popular urban legend. This is not to say that the murder was in anyway remotely justified, but it’s necessary to have all the facts.
Notwithstanding the above, Amina’s description of her relationship with her now murdered ex-husband was nostalgic, affectionate, warm, everything that seems to suggest of regret at the loss of what was and would have been. We feel her pain and empathise with her.
Read her post to celebrate what would have been Bilyaminus’s thirty-six-year birthday anniversary (edited for clarity).
“Will love you always.
“You would have been 36 today. May Allah rest your beautiful soul as people continue to say your name every day. You were the kind of person to leave that kind of impact in your wake and slumber.
“I’m sorry we drifted apart, I wanted you to have peace. I was so proud of myself for letting her have you to herself. Ashe ashe. It wouldn’t even come close to being enough my darling friend.
“In different points of my life, you were everything. A brother who pulled my scarf when I did wrong, a friend who knew me best. We decided to get married out of pure friendship. How strong was that bond? And when we couldn’t we still found our way back to being friends.
“My darling, I don’t have enough words.
“You once asked ‘what would u do if i die?’ I promptly started crying and abused you for suggesting you would die and I’d be around. Those tears shocked you. Well, if you could see me now…
“The thing that was most endearing to me that probably meant nothing to you was the way you never ever ever allowed me to cross the road without holding my wrist to do it for me. It used to infuriate me before I came to expect it. I’d be like ‘see this guy before him didn’t I cross the road’? (Smiles).
“Even when we fought you held on. Even if we didn’t talk u held on. It was funny, it was special cos it was not the hand but the wrist, as if to assure urself you wouldn’t let go. That was who you were till I suggested i wanted ur jealous wife to have peace. I wouldn’t call I said you would and you did whenever you could and you saw me whenever you could.
“Bye, my love. may Allah link us up at Janna. We will love aleesha xx.“
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This story… So you loved each other and yet guy cheated on you and marry another woman. You continued to keep in touch because you loved him? No matter what he told you he preferred Maryam and wasn’t going to leave her for you. You claim he’s the one that was chasing you but even if that were true, you could have done the decent thing and asked him to stay away. Cmon Amina, where was your pride as a woman encouraging the very man that cheated on you and divorced you to marry another woman. Was it your ego? Tragic ending..