Couple goal is not what you see on social media, warns Nigerian relationship expert

A Nigerian motivational blogger and relationship expert, Mrs Sonia Ogbonna, has warned social media users not to believe everything they see or read on the internet, calling them an illusion.

 

Sonia says that life lessons come from experience, which sometimes involves “struggle, pain and frustration.

While decrying the idea of marriage as a societal concoct for orderliness, the blogger notes that two people nevertheless can co-exist together where there is love, honest friendship and forgiveness, factors she notes that can help “us grow and become better.”

The blogger also warns against becoming complacent, greedy, unappreciative, taking all and giving nothing back.

She ends her write up with a shout-out to her husband who she says has supported her along the way admitting that her relationship with her husband is not always a smooth sailing “but at the end of the day, we always remember to go back on the right track whenever we get lost,” she says.

 

 

Read her full post, lightly edited for clarity:

@sonialareinaa: “Couple Goals” is the greatest illusion of 21st century. You think someone’s life is perfect because of a nice picture on IG. Lol. My friends, my wisdom didn’t come from books. My write-ups are the result of many lessons I have learnt from my struggle, pain and frustration. However, I choose to keep it real because there is light in truth and we don’t have to feel like losers just because things don’t seem to be perfect all the time.Honestly, I have never liked the idea of marriage. I hated it because it seemed like a zone where we appreciate nothing and demand for everything just because. Even today I feel like the whole ‘marriage’ thing is not there to serve us, but to serve society by impacting tones of norms that are meant to control us, lock us inside the box and decide what is wrong and right on our behalf.“It took me time, tears, depression, endless arguments and literally madness to understand the purpose of two people coexisting together. But it clicked somehow, somewhere… UNION. Just two people and their own world.

I do love the idea of deep, HONEST friendship that forgives imperfections and helps us grow and become better. But I’m also aware that that’s something we gradually need to learn how to apply in real life. At times we all forget to count blessings for a moment or two. We become greedy, we seek flows, we forget to appreciate. We demand love but we don’t ask ourselves if we are giving it out as well.

“Many times I forgot to give credit to this man of mine for everything that he is. Do you know how difficult I am to handle? Strong minded woman with revolution on her mind 24/7. Lol. Average man’s pride can’t deal with me. Ever.

I made many mistakes but the biggest one is not appreciating you every moment of my day.

Thank you for babysitting me from the time I was barely 23?I know it’s not easy dealing with a savage like me that doesn’t like being tamed/’submissive’ (I hate that bloody word). And the freedom you gave me is the highest proof of love you have for me.

Nothing is perfect about us, but at the end of the day, we always remember to go back on the right track whenever we get lost. I love you Boss?

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40 thoughts on “Couple goal is not what you see on social media, warns Nigerian relationship expert”

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  11. Informative and educative,i thinks this good to know about this,and many has already fall a victim into this,and this will teach those who love and deeply want to marry from overseas.

    Reply
  12. At first not just by going into a relationship without knowing the person in and out, and also taking time to know about that person before going into the relationship

    Reply
  13. in this present world and era we are today…internet, phones and other gadgets are always advance and go viral each time and every day which makes it unique and better to upload and edit picture to one suitable taste and not real in the physical world..this tends to decieve viewers and fall victim to the wrong partner so beware and be wise

    Reply
  14. as the case may be anything you cant touch and see physically tends not to be real as human are dynamic and some are in dubious…selfie is another factor that decieve a lot…so it advisable to always go for real thing in real life

    Reply
  15. on social media and other internet facilities unlike before it all make sense but now many people have abused and now use it as scam and fraud…some disguise to decieve people

    Reply
  16. i cant totally agree why because…some relationship still works despite the fact that you guys met online…the fact remain still…as for me i belive its luck especially when no risk involve

    Reply
  17. well said ..as a relationship expert…you have really compose a suitable fact that guide the attribute of falling into wrong hands on social media

    Reply
  18. She’s right all that glitters on social media especially Instagram, is not actually Gold. Some people are having serious issues in their relationship. And is just a mere illusion, because they want the world to see them as that perfect couple everyone dreams about.

    Reply
    • @imaobong I guess that’s why when going into relationship,you need to know the person both social media and outside social media.
      This things take time,you don’t just jump into it and the next thing you start complaining

      Reply
    • that is very true illusion decieves a lot and everyone want to fit in for the perfect take…some are desperate and makes there looks more astonishing to appeal victims

      Reply
  19. Mrs Sonia,that’s just your own opinion,we should decide on ourselves .
    Social media is vital and good,in fact it has helped us immensely..
    Talking about relationship,just last month I read about couples who met on Facebook.
    It all depend on your understanding with the person. You should be able to build up trust first and carefully examine your partner so I don’t think it’s illusion

    Reply
  20. This is a very beautiful and highly informative post. Thank sidomex, thanks Mrs Sonia Ogbonna. I rate this 10/10. ?Wow. Kudos ?

    Reply
  21. “It took me time, tears, depression, endless arguments and literally madness to understand the purpose of two people coexisting together.” Sometimes couples would have to fight to click the more

    Reply
  22. “I made many mistakes but the biggest one is not appreciating you every moment of my day.” I also hope all couples would learn from this and always learn to appreciate one another

    Reply
  23. “Thank you for babysitting me from the time I was barely 23?I know it’s not easy dealing with a savage like me that doesn’t like being tamed/’submissive’ (I hate that bloody word). And the freedom you gave me is the highest proof of love you have for me.” This is touching! Every couple needs to see this.

    Reply
  24. I don’t think one can get a perfect marriage. There would be “downs”. The thing is making things with your spouse right again

    Reply
  25. Admitting that her relationship with her husband is not always a smooth sailing is a generous and a sincere statement. I love that

    Reply
    • For me I don’t think it is..
      You will be surprised to know that her husband dosent know she published this.
      You never can tell if the problem in the marriage is from her.
      If she’s having issues in her marriage,SHE SHOULD SORT IT OUT WITH HER HUSBAND AND NOT EXPOSING IT HERE..

      ARE YOU TELLING ME TO SYMPATHIZE WITH YOU OR WAT

      Reply

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