Doctor Cupid: The worst break up lines

March 7th, 2018 | by Yusuf Zay
Doctor Cupid: The worst break up lines
Doctor Cupid

Dating is an art. Breaking up is also an art. And like art, some people will have a natural flair for it, while some will just suck.

Yes people. Some people suck at dating but that’s not what I’m here to rant about today.

Usually, I don my hat, sit on my couch and give you all some meaningful, fun and sometimes crazy advice and half the time it works-doesn’t it?

Well, today the spotlight’s gonna be on those mediocre, insincere, annoying and uncreative people whose break up lines could make you cry, and not because you’re devastated at the thought of them leaving you, but because you can’t help but marvel at the fact that you actually dated that!

So here it is people. The worst break up lines I’ve come to know, hear and on some occasions used as well. Don’t judge me. I’m more creative now, trust me.

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First up is the mother of all break-up cliches.

It’s not you, it’s me.

Come on! That’s like saying Beans are sweet but I prefer mangoes. If it’s really you, why did you let me date you from the onset? Why didn’t you make it clear that it wouldn’t work? You had to wait five years and an International male model later to tell me this?

Sorry. Reliving one’s trauma is one of the cons of PTSD.

I don’t deserve you/you’re too good for me.

You hear that from your partner ever, guys take her to a 5-star expensive hotel, order something expensive and then disappear-with her purse.

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Girls, just throw the guy out the window and get back to reading your fashion magazines. He just said he’s worthless. No one’s going to miss him.

My friends don’t like you…

This one is a special ammo that girls keep cloaked and when you least expect it, voila! Gunshot to the heart.

But to be clear, who am I dating? You or your friends?

There are so many terrible break-up lines.

From ‘All good things must come to an end’ to


‘Roses are red, violets are blue.

Baby, it’s not me, no.

It’s you.’

Breakups can be tough on both parties involved. Sometimes after it happens, the world feels like shit and as has been seen in many cases, some people even go as deep down as getting depressed. Or committing suicide.

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Hence next time you want to break up with someone, be nice about it.

Truth be told, there really is no nice way to say that the other person just sucks, but you can at least try not to be cruel about it.

Don’t just think about it, apply it.

If I so much as hear that you dished out a bad breakup line to your partner, there’s no saving you from me.

I’ll kick you back to the shire with the other hobbits.


I’m not kidding.




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