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Dr Cupid: What personality types have to do with falling in love and relationships

Personality types can be useful as they provide deeper insight into why we act the way we do, and subsequently, help us make better choices.

The most popular personality test (and which we will discuss today) is the Myers-Briggs personality test, developed by the mother-daughter duo, Katharine Cook Briggs and Isabel Briggs Myers.

Of course, everyone approaches dating in different ways, but wouldn’t we all like something that can make the process simpler, and remove all the frogs so we finally find the prince?

Personality tests open an insightful door into our mind and into our lives, making everything that much easier.

First, take the test so you know where you fall, and then we’ll dive into an assessment of the different personality types, and what it says about your relationship.

It combines a series of traits: extraversion (E), sensing (S), thinking (T), judgment (J), introversion (I), intuition (N), feeling (F), perception (P).

There are 16 such personalities, and now, we will examine each one’s defining traits and see what it means fo your love life.

Dr Cupid: What personality types have to do with falling in love and relationships

1. INFP: Introspective, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perception.

As an INFP, you seek more meaningful relationships, and you can’t imagine dating someone just because.

You tend to be surrounded by people you love, but you also have trouble expressing your deepest emotions.

You’re supportive, loyal, committed, and encouraging. However, you can be shy, reserved, and want a lot of time alone to yourself. You don’t like conflict and criticism, and that can cause friction in your relationships.

Best matches: ENFJ, ENTF

2. ENTJ: Extroverted, iNtuitive, Thinking, Judgement.

You’re driven, you have countless goals to focus on at the same time, and because of this, relationships tend to rank quite low on your list of concerns.

You approach conflict with positivity, but you tend to be argumentative and confrontational. You have a hard time listening to others, and you can be controlling.

Best matches: INTP, INFP

3. ISFP: Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Perception.

You’re free and more focused on feeling and sensing. You believe in living and letting others live, and you are genuinely sympathetic to people’s needs.

A flaw you have is that you tend to judge yourself too harshly and you’re overly cynical.

Best matches: ESTJ, ESFJ

4. INFJ: Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Judgement

You’re used to being misunderstood so you’re looking for someone who understands your need to be safe, appreciated, and acknowledged.

You seek out long-term relationships because you don’t have time to waste. On the flip side, you’re able to quickly get over a relationship when it’s over.

Best matches: ESFP, ESTP

5. ENFP: Extroverted, iNtuition, Feeling, Perception

You’re an inspirer. You’re able to see and inspire the best of everyone.

However, your talent for convincing people to do things can quickly go out of hand, as you can become manipulative, if unchecked.

You have good communication skills, you’re loyal, and you bring out the best in others.

A downside, however, is that you get bored very easily, and can quickly become smothering.

Best matches: INFJ, INTJ

Dr Cupid: What personality types have to do with falling in love and relationships

6. ISFJ: Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging

You’re observant, a hopeless romantic, and you like to do small things for your partner in order to show you care.

You’re warm and friendly, you like to nurture people, and you’re a good listener.

However, you tend to bottle up your needs until they burst out of you, but you hate conflict.

Best matches: ESFP, ESTP

7. ESTP: Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perception

You’re a doer: you like to go straight to the point and get things done.

You’re charming, great with conflict, and you’re good under pressure. The combination of all these makes you a great partner.

However, you get bored easily, can misunderstand your partner, and you don’t really think about things in the long-term.

Best matches: ISTJ, ISFJ

8. ISTP: Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, perception.

You always want to know why things are the way they are. You love acquiring knowledge and are happiest at the centre of attention when you can show off your capabilities.

You’re a good listener and respectful of your partner’s privacy and space.

You tend to have difficulty with long-term commitments and can be insensitive sometimes. So, work on that.

Best matches: ESFJ, ESTJ

9. ESFJ: Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judgement

You have a lot of feelings, and that’s what comes first when you’re handling any problem.

You tend to make a lot of effort to be there for your partner. Thus, you’re very reliable.

You tend to manipulate people using guilt, however. Your insecurities mean that you constantly need affirmation, which can take its toll on your partner.

Best matches: ISFP, ISTP

10. INTJ: Introverted, iNtuituve, Thinking, Judgement

You value intelligence and high standards, and you always stick to that. You’re self-confident, a good listener, and you’re not afraid of conflict.

You can come across as insensitive though, and you don’t approach conflict with enough emotion which can be offensive to your partner.

Best matches: ENTP, ENFP

Dr Cupid: What personality types have to do with falling in love and relationships

11. ESFP: Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, Perception

You’re extroverted and an optimist, and you’re very vocal about those two things.

You look beautiful things and you’re flexible, so that makes you an easy person to be in a relationship with.

Downsides of your personality are that you’re very easily distracted by new people, you avoid conflict, and you find it hard to be in long-term relationships.

Best matches: ISTJ, ISFJ

12. ISTJ: Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judgement

You have a bucket load of emotions, and usually, you tend to let that get in the way of logic.

You’re loyal, and you prefer to play by the rules. Your most admiring quality is that you’re never afraid to express your emotions.

On the other hand, you always believe you’re right, you don’t give praise often, and you tend to not stay in tune with how others are feeling.

These can leave your partner feeling like they’re not getting enough out of your relationship.

Best matches: ESTP, ESFP

13. ENFJ: Extroverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Judgement

You have wonderful people skills, and you thrive in social situations.

You’re a very supportive partner, but you tend to give and give, and don’t take enough time for yourself. You have great communication skills, you’re fun to be around, and you bring out the best in people.

You need to slow down, though, and take more time to focus on yourself so you experience fewer burnouts.

You tend to be controlling, manipulative, and inappropriate in social situations, although you rarely notice. This isn’t helped by the fact that you’re critical of people who don’t agree with you.

Best matches: INFP, INTP

14. ENTP: Extroverted, iNtuitive, Thinking, Perception

You look to talk to people and debate about topics that you care about. You’re a great conversationalist and this makes for fun first dates.

You’re obsessive and tend to focus on inconsequential things., but you’re built so that these don’t faze you.

Downsides are that you are easily fascinated by new people, and you tend to leave a relationship when you see that there’s no longer any room for growth.

Best matches; ESFJ, ENFJ, ISFJ, INTF, INFJ

Dr Cupid: What personality types have to do with falling in love and relationships

15. INTP: Introverted, iNtuitive, Thinking, Perception

You spent quite a lot of time thinking, so relationships can be a lot of work for you.

You’re creative, with a world of imagination that you’re not afraid to let loose to the world.

Downsides of being in a relationship with you are that you struggle with expressing your feelings and emotion. You also tend to ignore conflict instead of dealing with it and moving on.

Best matches: ENTJ, ENFJ

16. ESTJ: Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judgement

You’re an extrovert who loves to be in control at all times. You’re dependable and realistic and you’re willing to do anything for your partner.

Your approach to conflict is to resolve it rather than ignore it, and this goes a long way to helping you build life-long relationships, something that you’re very interested in.

However, you tend to believe you’re always right, and you’re averse to change.

You’re materialistic and status-conscious, and if others try to point it out to you, you can hurt them with your insensitive language.

Best matches: ISTP, ISFP

Simbiat Haroun studied Computer Science at the University of Lagos. She enjoys doing research and spends most of her time reading. She can be contacted at simbiat@sidomexuniversal.com.


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