We will sometimes feel lost, like everything is going wrong, and like we don’t know in what direction our lives are headed. This is fairly normal. Good, even, as it allows us to reflect on our lives.
It’s easy to fall into the despair of it all. It starts small, and before you realize it you’re sinking deeper into it and can’t stop it from getting worse no matter how you try.
Take a deep breath, be calm, and remind yourself that feeling like this once in a while is absolutely normal.
It would be great if we got a handbook when we were born: ‘How to live a fulfilled life’, authored by our creator himself. Sadly, there’s no such thing, and we have to figure things out as we go along.
I would like to say it’s much like following a well-worn path, followed by hundreds, even thousands, of people before us, but it’s not. It’s more like making your own way in this world, cutting through grasses, and sometimes tress.
There will be sweating, exhaustion, the blisters on your palms, and sometimes you will feel lost.
You don’t have to just wallow in the unsureness of it all, there are some things to do to improve your situation.
So here are tips for figuring out what you want to do with your life.
1. Focus on the little things.
When the big things seem too overwhelming, it is always a great idea to go back to the little things; the little things make up the big things. That hobby that gave you joy that you haven’t done in a while, start doing it again.
Those loved ones you’ve been distant from lately, make conscious effort to communicate more and better with them.
Exercising, reading, writing, or simply enjoying the company of others, there are a million and one way that you can stave of the anxiety of not knowing exactly where your life is headed.
2. Listen to people.
They often say experience is the best teacher. But did anyone ever say it has to be a first-hand experience?
You can gain experiences vicariously, through the life experiences of others. Read about them, ask about them, listen to them. Gather these experiences and let them teach you.
Another plus is that it helps to know we aren’t the first to feel a particular way, we aren’t the first to be in such situations, and that there have been people who went through these phases and came out as some of the best people.
3. Make short term goals.
It’s hard to measure how much closer you are to your goals when they are long term.
We tend to feel like we have all the time in the world to achieve those goals when we really do not. Don’t just plan to publish your first book in two years, take it a step further and plan to have a new chapter every week, or whatever else works for you.
Don’t just plan to be a great public speaker in a year, take it a step further and plan towards conscious improvement at the end of every month.
Short term goals are easier to keep our minds on, where we tend to shelf long term goals into the backs of our minds. Short term goals are significantly less overwhelming and seem more realistic and achievable.
The last thing you want to do when in doubt is to overwhelm yourself even more.
4. Focus on the things you’re good at.
Doing things you suck at is a downward spiral of you feeling bad because you aren’t great at what you do and feeling worse because you continue to do it.
So focus on the things you’re good at, at continue to do that. Do those things because you like them, because they set your mind at peace, and because they pull you out of the storm.
Not everything you’re good at should be monetized. You might be good at something, but you want to keep it private, something special for just you and a few privileged ones to enjoy- and that’s fine.
5. Listen to your heart a little more.
Yes, I know your heart doesn’t actually speak, but that’s just a figurative expression to do some of the seemingly random things you will sometimes feel the sudden urge to do.
Not all, you can’t do all, because you still have to think about the consequences of your actions. But you should follow at least some of them, or you will end up feeling worse.
Think of it as having a sleeping and waking mind, and your waking mind is always in control. Those strong urges are from your sleeping mind, which makes decisions solely on your desires and what makes you happy.
While there is more to this world than the things that make you happy alone, you’re allowed to be more concerned about what makes you happy sometimes.
In conclusion…
In the end, only you can decide how best to live your life. It is your life, and you get to live with the results.
There are no defined rules on how to live it. We all wish there were. There are only things to do which make it less unbearable when things get difficult, things to do which help reveal what you really want, things to do which help grant you clarity on the whole business.
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