And those words are very true. For forgiveness is therapeutic and drains away anger, resentment, negative energy and bitterness, leaving us able to move ahead with our lives, calmed and optimistic.
So, I would like you to pause and think a little. It is possible that there are people you are ignoring right now, people you have blocked on your social media channels, people you have decided not to speak to ever again, a friend you have chosen to let go, a family member you have stopped communicating with, the list goes on. This might be because of what they did to you, an offence or crime they committed which broke your heart, left you disappointed, leading you to cut them out of your life. You probably might be feeling you can never forgive them.
Well enough, it is quite hurting when someone, especially someone you love and care about disappoints and offends you deeply. It may be extreme what the person did to you. I am not going to tell you how to feel, it is within your right to feel how you do. I am the first to admit that under certain circumstances the best thing for our mental health is to cut loose people who have shown by their actions and words that they do not mean well for us. But we shouldn’t allow our feeling of angst or hurt to become detrimental to our own well-being. Forgiveness isn’t always easy, sometimes it is a long and difficult process. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. At the same time, building up resentment could leave you feeling worse off if your mental health is impacted.
If you can, have a conversation with the person that hurt your feelings, let them know how by their actions or words they wounded your spirit. Be ready to admit the part you played, chances are they are lashing out against you for something they think you said or did against them. Render yourself amenable to forgive and to be forgiven.
Furthermore, I believe we owe ourselves forgiveness and not grudge. And I am sure that you are aware everyone is not the same, and so, people have different characters and personalities that may not go well with the core you. At the risk of sounding cliched, the world will be a boring place without the diversity of personalities and characters that abound. You are you, and others their selves. Don’t ever expect people to behave like you. I will advise you make room for some degree of excesses, others are probably making the same for you, though you may not b aware of it. A popular saying goes, ‘holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.’
I guess the crux of my argument is for you to render yourself amenable to forgive all your offenders. Bearing grudges, grievances, and resentments in your heart against someone or some persons can only harm your own mental health. Being able to have an honest conversation with the offender is a massive step towards dealing with with the issue. Face them and explain how hurt or pained you feel. Finally, be humble enough also to apologise if you wrong or offend someone. Even when you are blissfully unaware but was reminded, please apologise because it saves you and them a lot of emotional stress.
This article was inspired by a friend of mine named -Dr Viva
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