5 reasons why the silent treatment is damaging

I’m sure you have heard of the silent treatment. It’s the refusal of someone to speak to another person or becoming emotionally distant. Most people would have probably used or experienced it at some point.

The silent treatment applies to any relationship – romantic, friendships, familial, coworker relationships, and even interactions with strangers.

According to Davin Dackle, regardless of what someone has done to hurt you or whatever message you are trying to pass across, ignoring someone can have serious consequences.

Here are the 5 ways the silent treatment is more damaging than productive:

1. It causes emotional trauma or stress

This may be a given, but there is a wide variety of overwhelming emotions that come with being ignored. Victims may experience depression, anger, and frustration, as well as feelings of restlessness, isolation and rejection, guilt, loneliness, and despair, maybe even a sense of betrayal or bitterness.

When someone’s existence and feelings are dismissed and disrespected, they feel devalued like an old couch you toss out because you don’t have room for it.

2. It causes psychological stress

The word for this is ostracism (exclusion, banishment). The silent treatment can be a mind game for some people, and in some cases can be used as a form of psychological manipulation. Along with the emotional roller-coaster, it tears down your sense of self-esteem and sense of self-worth.

The longer and more intense the ostracism continues, the more permanent the psychological effects, especially in children.

3. It may have serious physical side-effects

There’s a part of our brains specifically designed to detect different levels of pain. It’s called the anterior cingulate cortex, and it activates when someone receives the silent treatment.

You heard that right, when someone is ignored, their brain tells them they are in physical pain. Symptoms could include anything from headaches to diarrhea or constipation to stomach pains, as well as insomnia, anxiety, and fatigue.

Different states of emotional stress could lead to more serious health risks, such as eating disorders, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, blood clots, urinary and bowel problems, erectile dysfunction, and cancer.

4. It can cause behavioral changes

What am I doing wrong? Is something wrong with me? Are you there? Was it something I said? Am I too annoying?

Being ignored could cause you to behave in ways you might not normally. Things like questioning and second-guessing yourself and others, lashing out, or doubting yourself and situations which you normally wouldn’t.

You might start to feel like you’re bothering the other person, or being too needy. All the questions and doubt might cause you to act like someone who isn’t really you.

5. It can destroy relationships

Often the issue here is with communication. For any of the reasons mentioned above, one partner might ignore or distance themselves from the other. No matter the reaction of the other partner, this action causes a rift.

Each partner might feel the problem is with the other, and instead of communicating with each other, they wait around for the other to admit they’re wrong and apologize.