Although, there is nothing wrong with having expectations in a relationship, having unrealistic expectations can put stress on, and ruin, any relationship. Just like people, no relationship is ever perfect. All relationships will consist of both good and bad times, joys and pains, harmony and conflict. No one is perfect in our world so don’t expect a perfect relationship that can meet your high hopes.
However, people harbor some unrealistic expectations in a relationship which damages the outcome of their love life. Here are some of them.
- Expecting a ‘no conflict’ kind of relationship.
Really? I don’t mean to be rude, but going into a relationship or being in one already and expecting that your partner will not upset you one day or that conflict will not arise is a very crazy thought. Of course nobody wants to be hurt in anyway, but don’t forget you and your partner are two different people coming together to function as one. So take it when I say, he will get you angry, she will upset you, and don’t forget that it can be intentional or unintentional. The best thing to do is to make room/space for excesses because they will show up, and learn or devise a means of settling your differences. Also know that, conflicts when managed properly can add to your relationship as you get to find out what your partner likes or dislikes.
- “You ought to know how I feel”
It will interest you to know that your partner is not a witch nor a wizard or a mind reader. Don’t expect another person to know what is in YOUR mind without communication. Funny enough, when they don’t meet up with this expectation we become devastated. A clear cut communication of how you feel or what you want can save your relationship a lot of stress. It is not possible to figure out what’s going on in a person’s mind, so voicing it out will be very helpful.
- Expecting your relationship to remain the same.
Nothing remains the same forever. God only is the unchangeable. Challenges will come, things will show up that will shake your relationship. What only matters is how you manage it as to be able to come out victorious with your partner. But, expecting you relationship to remain the same is a no-no. You have to give it room to grow.
- My partner and I must spend most of our time together.
Spending quality time with your partner is necessary in building a strong relationship. However, you need to understand that your partner has a life to live. The fact that you guys are together doesn’t mean he/she can’t talk to anyone else, do stuff on his/her own or even practice his/her hobbies. Allow him/her some space. It also helps the relationship.
- Good relationships do not need work.
Who said so? Truthfully speaking, every relationship requires work especially when you want it to grow. No relationship is easy at all. It requires quality time, commitment, effort, love, affection, understanding, etc. Don’t fold your arms and expect things to be sweet without any effort from your end or that of your partner.
